


a love that patches the holes in the ceiling

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: brother, let me be your shelter (never leave you all alone) [1]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Communication, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, POV Lucas, Post-Season/Series 04, Unofficial Sequel, Yann and Lucas talk about shit, and Eliott is a part of Le Gang, despite summary the story is really fluffy and reassuring, hi I love every boy squad so much, le gang, they all deserve all the love they give to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21826039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: “So,” Yann says, and his voice is hesitant, as if he’s afraid of breaking something, and Lucas’ posture straightens, just a bit, preparing himself for this conversation that he’s kind of been waiting for since the bomb dropped so casually in the middle of their conversation with the girls in the park earlier. “About what Emma said earlier.”The thing is, he knows that Yann won’t judge him. He won’t get mad at him. He never did- he never has. Earlier today, in the park, Yann had reassured Lucas, in his own way, made a joke and bumped shoulders to show that what had happened wasn’t a problem.Lucas knows Yann. He knows how much Yann cares, how he’d apologized for all the gay jokes and had stood by Lucas through it all, how Yann had promised to be there for Lucas no matter what happened.But that doesn’t mean that Lucas doesn’t feel shame curdling his stomach, that a year later it still doesn’t make his cheeks go hot with embarrassment, that guilt still doesn’t weigh down his heart.“I used to have a crush on you,” Lucas says quietly.(Lucas, to his own surprise, is actually doing pretty well nowadays. He just has one last secret to open up about, though.)
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Yann Cazas & Lucas Lallemant & Eliott Demaury & Arthur Broussard & Basile, Yann Cazas/Chloe
Series: brother, let me be your shelter (never leave you all alone) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575358
Comments: 2
Kudos: 99





	a love that patches the holes in the ceiling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moon_waves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_waves/gifts).
  * Inspired by [and to plunge both hands into life up to the elbows](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978256) by [moon_waves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_waves/pseuds/moon_waves). 



> Title is from Ashe Vernon.
> 
> Hey everybody! I am absolutely in love with the fic "and to plunge both hands into life up to the elbows" and how it dealt with the girl squad/Imane in Season 4 as well as all of the thought and revelations that were put into the boy squad. I just couldn't get the fic out of my head for days after I read it and I just had to write a short sequel/extra scene of sorts about the boy squad's POV after the events of "and to plunge both hands into life up to the elbows." Hope you all like!
> 
> Also, only after writing this all the way through did I realize that the original fic I was writing a sequel to wasn’t written post Season 4, but only post 4x08, so this fic references the party at the end of Season 4 and a couple of other things that I’m pretty sure happened at the end of the season, as well. Sorry for the slight time error there.

_A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you._

**-Elbert Hubbard**

That night, it’s all the boys at the flatshare.

Since Manon left, Lucas has actually had a room to invite the boys over to, to invite Eliott over to, an opportunity he has taken full advantage of.

After tonight, he can’t exactly say that he misses her, that much. He knows he should, and he probably will at a later time, but right now, it’s not so much. Not after hearing how badly she treated Imane in a way that Lucas can’t picture the boys ever doing to him.

They’re all on his bed or on the floor. Arthur and Basile are on the ground in front of the bed, playing FIFA on the old TV that Lucas managed to find in a flea market. Eliott, Lucas, and Yann are on the bed, with Lucas and Yann sitting slouched against the headboard, watching the other boys play, and Eliott stretched out next to Lucas with his sketchbook on the bed under him and his head by Lucas’ elbows, his legs and torso pressed up against Lucas’ legs. All in all, Lucas is content, which means that of course shit’s going to go down.

“So,” Yann says, and his voice is hesitant, as if he’s afraid of breaking something, and Lucas’ posture straightens, just a bit, preparing himself for this conversation that he’s kind of been waiting for since the bomb dropped so casually in the middle of their conversation with the girls in the park earlier. “About what Emma said earlier.”

The thing is, he knows that Yann won’t judge him. He won’t get mad at him. He never did- he never has. Earlier today, in the park, Yann had reassured Lucas, in his own way, made a joke and bumped shoulders to show that what had happened wasn’t a problem.

Lucas _knows_ Yann. He knows how much Yann cares, how he’d apologized for all the gay jokes and had stood by Lucas through it all, how Yann had promised to be there for Lucas no matter what happened.

But that doesn’t mean that Lucas doesn’t feel shame curdling his stomach, that a year later it still doesn’t make his cheeks go hot with embarrassment, that guilt still doesn’t weigh down his heart.

He talked to Eliott about this, after the party with Idriss and Imane, after watching Eliott and Idriss make up after whatever happened to them in the past. Lucas had watched them and thought of Yann, his own best friend, thought of what he’d done wrong, the things he needed to atone for.

Eliott had held Lucas that evening, spooning him as he’d explained what happened, detailing his greatest regret, unable to even look Eliott in the eyes as he talked about how he’d broken up his best friend and the girl he loved at the time.

Then Eliott had tugged him over gently, Lucas rolling over until they’d been looking each other right in the eyes. “Tell me,” Eliott had said, smile sad and understanding, voice as soothing as ever, “Are you more ashamed of what you did, or of the feelings you had for Yann?”

It had been over a year since he’d had a crush on Yann, months since he’d started dating Eliott, but Lucas’ breath had still caught in his throat, hitching at the memory of feelings that had threatened to choke the life out of him.

“Lucas,” Eliott had said, reaching out a hand to hold Lucas’ face, “Feelings are nothing to be ashamed of.”

And _that_ Lucas knew, because he had told Yann a little about his crush months ago, because he knew that Yann had accepted him, sexuality and all, without ambiguity.

But Eliott still had a bit of a point, there, because Lucas remembers more than anything else the way that the secret of his sexuality had corroded away at his insides, turning bitter in his gut with every day that he hadn’t been able to tell his best friend about it. 

He remembers every fucked up thing he’d done to keep his feelings a secret. He remembers trying to break Emma and Yann up, not really because of his crush. Or, yes, because of his crush, definitely, but not because of any sort of naive belief that there would be some way for him to get with Yann. Yann was straight, and Lucas knew he couldn’t have him.

But those feelings, burning up inside of Lucas’ gut- they’d threatened to choke the breath from him. They’d been pushing and pushing and pushing at his insides, choking his lungs like a plant taking root and shoving its leaves into Lucas’ airways.

The pressure had been too much to bear, and so Lucas had reached out and broken the relationship that was strangling him, the relationship that his best friend cared so much about, and therefore had broken his best friend’s heart in a misguided attempt to breathe.

And then, later, when his sexuality had kept creeping up his lungs, he remembers shoving Arthur, kissing Chloe, doing so many things he shouldn’t have, trying to find a way to breathe again.

(Lucas sympathizes so much with Imane, of feeling alone in a world that is constantly strangling the breath from you, of feeling alone despite friends on your side, of having bitter secrets threatening to corrode away at your insides. Of doing things- stupid things, fucked up things- in order to get the oxygen back into your lungs.

At the end of the day, Yann had been there for Lucas, had heard him out as he hopes that he’ll do again today. Imane had had no one.

Tonight, before he goes to bed, Lucas is going to text her, to make sure that the girls have talked to her, to make sure that she’s alright. Because no one- absolutely fucking no one- deserves to feel alone and uncomfortable in their own skin.)

Now, though, Lucas has learned how to breathe. He’s learned how to be open and comfortable with himself, how to not be afraid or ashamed of himself.

So now, looking Yann right in the eye as Arthur and Basile argue over a game of FIFA on the floor and Eliott sketches next to him (Lucas thinks he sees a raccoon on the pages), a reassuring warmth by his side, Lucas takes a deep breath.

Lucas remembers what Yann had told him all those months ago, in the common room. He remembers Yann saying that he understood why Lucas hadn’t told him about his sexuality, that he was sorry that he’d made Lucas so uncomfortable that he felt he couldn’t open up to Yann.

“I used to have a crush on you,” Lucas says quietly, not exactly wanting Arthur and Basile to listen in to every word he says. He doubts they would, all caught up in the FIFA game, but hedging his bets is never a bad idea. “Ancient history, like we talked about earlier. But I might-” his voice stumbles over the words, despite the fact that Emma laid them on the table earlier. It’s different to be the one saying things, confessing them, than having someone else say them for you. “Last year, when Emma kissed Alex, she told me first. And I convinced her not to tell you.” Lucas isn’t looking Yann in the eyes right now, despite the fact that Yann told him that he could tell him anything. He doesn’t think he could bear to. Not until he’s done.

(By his side, Eliott is pressed up against him, a reassuring warmth giving him the confidence to go on. He’s in love with Eliott and Yann is his best friend- all of this really _is_ ancient history, no matter how ashamed Lucas feels right now.)

“And I...I went around your back. And spread the rumor about her cheating. And- I’m sorry that broke you up, I swear. I know how much that relationship meant to you-”

“That’s not what broke us up,” Yann says, plain and simple and understanding, just like he always is, and Lucas blinks, body freezing.

“What? Really?”

Yann nods, voice calm and quiet, probably also trying not to drag Arthur and Basile into this conversation. Their friends are great, but this is kind of a private sort of thing. “I was being a bit of an ass, and we just weren’t working out like we used to. The whole cheating thing was _one_ factor, yeah, but it wasn’t near the main reason why we ended.”

“Oh,” Lucas says, because it doesn’t make what he did any less horrible, but it somehow takes a bit of the guilt off of his shoulders. It removes a bit of the long-ended clawing feeling in his lungs, gets rid of the phantom remnants of shame.

Yann nods, smiling at Lucas like he did when he told Lucas that he could come to him with anything, that small, reassuring smile that finally put Lucas at ease. “Not your fault at all, man. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Lucas glances down at Eliott, thinking about that conversation, about Eliott’s comments about not feeling ashamed of his crush. He thinks about how good it felt to to first let Yann know about his sexuality, and then about his crush (even if the initial confession hadn’t spelled out the true length or depth of the crush).

“And the fact that I did it all because I had a crush on you?” Lucas pushes, just a little, because maybe this will get rid of the rest of the bitterness lingering in his lungs. “How do you feel about that?”

Yann looks at Lucas like he’s always looked at him, like there’s nothing in the world he wouldn’t do to support Lucas. It’s a look of unconditional love, of a friendship that will withstand anything. “I just hate that you couldn’t tell me about it,” Yann says, and his voice is completely sincere. “That you felt like you couldn’t be honest with me.”

Eliott presses his legs into Lucas, just a bit, as a sign of reassurance, of agreement with Yann, and Lucas can’t help but smile at Yann continues with: “But we’re past that now, right? You know that you can tell me anything.”

Lucas nods. “Of course,” he says, with complete sincerity.

“Good,” Yann says with a grin, then adds: “Besides, this will just make the double date all the more interesting, right?”

“Double date?” Lucas asks, raising an eyebrow, and Yann nods, brow furrowing slightly.

“Yeah,” he says in a tone of voice that says that he thinks that this whole thing is pretty self-evident. “You and Eliott with me and Chloe.”

Eliott lets out a small choked sound next to Lucas, and Lucas looks down at his boyfriend with a small smile playing at his lips as he remembers the _last_ double date that he and Eliott went on with Chloe and how that turned out.

“What?” Yann asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say that the last time we had a double date with Chloe, I’m pretty sure there was a breakup involved. Kind of. And a kiss, but it wasn’t with a girl.”

“Oh, fuck,” Yann says with a laugh that catches Arthur’s attention from his spot on the ground. “You and Eliott ditched your girlfriends to make out, didn’t you?”

Eliott smiles fondly at Lucas, who’s pretty sure he’s returning a smile of equal levels of sappiness. “Can’t deny that,” he says.

“I’d say the decision turned out alright in the end,” Lucas says, reaching out and entwining his fingers with Eliott’s.

“You really are a bad influence on Eliott, aren’t you, Lucas?” Arthur says.

“Hey!” Lucas protests, looking down at his friend to find him with a shit-eating grin on his face as he plays FIFA. “I’m a wonderful influence, thank you very much.”

“Eliott’s clearly the one with a sensible head on his shoulders,” Arthur says with a shrug and a tilt of his wise, bespectacled head at Eliott and Lucas.

“Only one of us that has the braincell, sometimes,” Yann says, joining in on piling on Lucas, who looks to his best friend with a look of utter betrayal on his face. Yann just shrugs, tossing Lucas a grin that both teases and soothes, reassuring Lucas that everything is normal between them.

“Unlike you, dear Lulu,” Basile joins in, throwing a smile back at Eliott and Lucas even as he misses a goal onscreen.

Lucas glances at Eliott, who has the absolutely brightest of smiles on his face (and Eliott regularly smiles with the warmth of the sun, so that’s an accomplishment) as he looks down at his sketchpad. It’s clear that le Gang’s comments mean a whole lot to him, and that he enjoys having the three boys as his friends more than he has ever quite expressed aloud.

And Lucas is glad that his friends say things like this. He knows that his friends see Eliott as their friend, too, just as much a part of the group as any of the others, and not just because he’s Lucas’ boyfriend. To Arthur, Yann, and Basile, Eliott is just as much of a bro or a friend as Lucas is, with a rightful place in the group just as much as any of them.

And Lucas is always happy to see the moments that Eliott realizes and accepts this, over and over. Whether they’re in class or in the park or the common room or even just playing video games, like this, and his friends invite him in or compliment him or include him or even, god forbid, tease him about his and Lucas’ sex life like Eliott’s just one of them, because he _is_ one of them, at the end of the day.

(Even if it comes at the expense of Lucas getting insulted by the boys. He could care less about his pride, in a moment like this, if it means seeing that smile on Eliott’s face, means knowing that Eliott knows that he is not alone, not just because of Lucas but because he has a group of friends that are there for him.)

Lucas leans over and gently tips Eliott's chin upward with his index finger, leaning in to give Eliott a quick kiss that leads to Eliott giving him the brightest of smiles afterward.

“Well, I know that no one will be ditching anyone on this date,” Yann says, “Unless Arthur or Basile decide to show up and throw everything into the air.”

“We wouldn’t-” Arthur starts to protest, but Basile cuts him off.

“We could always make it a triple date!” he says, eyes bright, and by this point Arthur is burying his face in his hands, game forgotten. 

Lucas stares at Basile, slightly horrified by the idea. Basile and Daphne are cute, yeah, and he’s really glad that they got together. But to be honest, he can only really handle one shitstorm at a time. And he, Eliott, Yann, and Chloe having dinner together? That’s definitely enough of a shitstorm for one night without adding the couple most open about their sex life in the world.

(Especially since he’s pretty sure that Basile and Daphne have some things to talk about, after what went down in the park this afternoon.)

“Maybe some other time,” Eliott says lightly, reading Lucas’ mind. “Don’t want to overwhelm Chloe, right?”

Lucas glances at Yann and finds him smiling proudly at Eliott, as if pleased by Eliott’s consideration of Chloe’s feelings. Lucas swallows as he realizes that he never really apologized to Chloe properly about the whole thing. Now that he’s cleared things up with Yann, he should probably clear them up with Yann’s girlfriend, too. _His_ ex, of sorts, if you could call her that- Yann does, enough, to hold onto the bro code, to ask Lucas if he was okay with Yann dating her, which means far more than it should.

“Right,” Basile says in agreement, looking unperturbed by it all. “In a couple of weeks, then?”

Yann laughs. “We haven’t even planned the double date with the four of _us_ yet, Baz. Give us a couple of weeks first?”

Basile shrugs, turning to smile at the three of them on the bed. “Whatever works, guys.” Then he turns back to Arthur. “I won the game, by the way.”

“That’s because I was embarrassed _for_ you,” Arthur says with a small laugh as he picks up his game controller.

Basile’s brow furrows. “Wait, why?”

Yann and Eliott smother similar laughs behind their own unique smiles, and something warms Lucas’ chest as Arthur and Basile squabble over the next round of the game.

Sitting here, with his friends, Lucas feels at home, with a family of his own. These boys- his boys, his friends and his boyfriend- he loves them and they love him in a way he’s never really gotten otherwise.

Earlier, today, he realized just how lucky he is to have them. Not everyone has friends as good as his- the girl squad, for example, is not as kind and careful with Imane as le Gang is with Lucas, as they are with Eliott during his bad days.

These beautiful, stupid idiots- they’re his. Through drama and high school and university and the rest of his life, he knows, they'll be there for him, just like he'll be there for them.

Lucas leans back against the pillows and smiles, chest light and lungs open. For now, despite an upcoming biology test, he has nothing to worry about. The weight on his chest is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys all like this! It's a bit different than my usual Skam output- either the Evaks in Antwerp or the Hunger Games AU- but it was really satisfying to write and hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to leave a comment if you liked it- comments are the lifeblood of a writer, after all!


End file.
